TTC After Miscarriage

TTC…three little letters  that you may see or even hear people talking about, but you may not give much thought as to what they mean. For those of you who don’t know, TTC stands for “trying to conceive.” When you’re ready to grow your family, three little letters like TTC can get pretty heavy.

We were pretty keen on trying again soon after my first loss.

Because I had a natural miscarriage and my HCG level was so so low, we didn’t have any reason to wait to start trying again. . On March 21st I took a pregnancy test and thought I saw a faintline. I honestly thought I was crazy and totally seeing things. I even downloaded an app that can change the color to help see if there’s a line. Then, I sent a text to my best friend, Jessie, with a picture of the test and saying “Be honest! Do you see anything?” When she replied, “yes theres a line,” I cried because I couldn’t believe that I was pregnant again!

Once Mr. B got home from work I showed him and of course he said he couldn’t tell, so I bought a digital test the next day and…

 

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Of course I was nervous after literally having just gone through a loss, but I had hope for this baby! I had read so many stories online about successful pregnancies after miscarriages.

I had to get my blood drawn several times to check my HCG levels and they were increasing normally. We had a vacation planned when I would be about 8 weeks along; typically  that’s when my office does the first ultrasound. Since this would have to be pushed back until after our vacation, we went to Baby Bumps (a local elective ultrasound studio) to help calm my nerves. I was taking pregnancy tests daily just to make sure it was real. I was actually 7 weeks here and there is our sweet baby!

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The First Miscarriage

I am going to start at the beginning of our pregnancy loss journey since we lost two babies and each loss was very different. I hope other moms who have experienced pregnancy losses feel comfort in knowing they are not alone. I wrote this post before we lost our baby boy at 14 weeks.

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I took a pregnancy test on February 23, 2018 and it was positive. I remember just looking at Teagan playing in the floor and I couldn’t believe she was going to be a big sister. I was excited but nervous to just
because she was still so young but we were trying to get pregnant. Mr. B was at work but we had talked about me bringing him dinner so I knew I wanted to tell him right away and in person. I loaded Teagan up in the car, drove to dairy queen, and then headed his way. He came out of work and I had Teagan waiting with me in the front seat with the window down. He took her out of the window and I said she’s going to be a big sister! We were so excited and happy!

The next day February 24th I started bleeding not terrible but I just knew something wasn’t right. It was a Saturday so my OBGYN office was closed.

February 25 was my 25th birthday and one I will never forget. We had put Teagan in a pageant that day so we were up early preparing for it. The bleeding continued and was worse with cramping. I knew what was happening I just remember crying that morning getting her ready. Mr. B was trying to be positive but he knew from my reaction I was not ok. At this point no one knew we were pregnant again. Finally after the pageant was over we went to my in laws. I thought I was going to be sick or pass out I had to lay down for a minute while we were there but they didn’t know what was wrong. I really just wanted to get home as soon as possible because I was about to have a break down and I did. I called my sister, Kelly I asked her if her husband was home and she said no. She thought we were in a car wreck because I was so upset and he’s a paramedic. I said no, I’m pregnant again she was confused and told me it was ok. But then I finally got it out that I thought I was loosing it because I was bleeding and cramping.

Here’s a couple pictures from Teagan in the pageant. She won best hair & America’s Best Supreme!

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Finally it was Monday I could go to the Dr. I was still bleeding. My office got me in right away. They did an ultrasound but couldn’t see anything. My uterine lining was thick which she told me that happens in early pregnancy. Then I saw my nurse practitioner she basically said if you had a positive pregnancy test than you are pregnant but it did sound like a “chemical pregnancy” we would know more after my blood work came back. When it came back it was positive but low. They retested me again to see if my levels increased and they didn’t they dropped.

It was harder on me emotionally than physically because there is nothing you can do or could have done to stop it. I still felt responsible I apologized to Mr. B for loosing the baby. Of course he didn’t think it was my fault but thats how I felt at the time. I couldn’t help but think of Teagan and how much I love her and that was what I was loosing.

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just a cup of coffee

Hey ya’ll!

I know its been a while since I have written a blog post. Recently I have been praying about what to do with my life career wise. As some of you may know as of now I’m a stay at home mom. Its hard some days but I couldn’t imagine it any other way. I have spent the last 4 months getting to see Teagan learn new things almost daily and its such a blessing. Just the other day she started grabbing for things.

I had coffee with some girls a few days ago that are in the same creative field as me. Just sharing the same struggles with them makes you feel better but it also inspired me to really try to start back again. When I first started my blog I wanted it to be all about fashion but now that my life has changed my blog needs to change with me as well. I still plan on sharing some fashion but I’m going to add life as a new mom and cooking into the mix.

 

Pink Blush Maternity + $75 Giveaway

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Rachael Houser Photography 

Makeup: Cydney Wiggs

Dress: PinkBlush // Shoes: Dillards // Watch: Michael Kors // Earrings: Rocksbox

It’s hard to believe that these maternity pictures were taken exactly one week before Teagan decided to make her appearance into this world.  I cant wait to share her birth story with you and life as a new mom. It’s wonderful and its a feeling I cant even describe.

I loved the color of this dress and the lace material. The scallop detail at the bottom was my favorite part. PinkBlush has a ton of really cute maternity dresses that would be great for maternity pictures. They also have these really pretty floral robes that I wish I would have bought before our hospital stay. I have teamed up with PinkBlush Maternity for a $75 give card giveaway. To enter follow the prompts in the link below.

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30 Weeks

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I’m 30 weeks today! We had our Dr. appointment this morning. At my office they try to do the 4D ultrasound around 30 weeks and Miss Teagan was not having it. She would NOT flip over to show us her face. The photo above is the only image we got which it a tiny side shot. They are going to try again at 32 weeks.

Teagan’s heart rate was 168 and she is measuring 3 lbs 7 ounces!

After our ultrasound I met with my Ob and everything is going great. I passed my glucose test with flying colors, my blood pressure is normal, and there is no protein in my urine. I have gained a total of 18 lbs my entire pregnancy.

I am just now starting to feel a little uncomfortable but its not all the time. My sleeping the past week has not been the best but I think its my body trying to get used to this growing belly. Also getting up and down is a little challenging but I know its just going to get worse.

I can’t believe Teagan will be here in 10 weeks or less. Our baby shower is this coming Sunday so on the next updated I’ll share some details.